DIVERGENT PUNS!
by Hexxer07 the Reporter
Summary: PUNS PUNS PUNS PUNS PUNS!. PUNS TOBIAS (FOUR) LIFE!
1. Chapter 1

This is not a story, this is...DIVERGENT PUNS!

hope you enjoy

* * *

1\. Tris and Tobias

Tris: Hey Tobias

Tobias: what?

Tris: Why don't you be a DiverGENTLEMENT and open the door FOUR me?

Tobias:

Tris:/Laugh/

Tobias:

Tris:/falls off chair/

Tobias:

Tris:/wipes tears/ Oh lor, I'm Hilarious

2\. 2+2

Teacher: What is 2+2

Me: Tobias

Teacher: Hm. What is 4+6

Me: Fourtris

Teacher: Hm. You fail the test

Me: The test didn't work on me?

Teacher:...

Me: They call it Divergent

Teacher:...

3\. Homework

Me: This homework is so hard

Dauntless: Forget it. Be Dauntless for once

Amity: No! That would disturb the peace between you and the teacher!

Abnegation: Here, let me help you. What question are you on

Me: Um, number 46 *giggles*

Erudite: Wait, i think it's logical that i help her with her homework. Okay, let's see... what's 2+2

Me: TOBIAS!

Candor: You're hopeless

4\. Faction on Christmas

Abnegation: let's donate present to charity

Amity: let's decorate trees, bake bread, play music and sing songs!

Candor: hey kids, happy Christmas and...SANTA IS NOT REAL!

Dauntless: LET'S JUMP OFF HOUSES, AND GO DOWN THE CHIMNEYS WITH FIRE AND DIE!

Erudite:WHY, WHY WINTER BREAK? *sobs because no school*

5\. Scale 1-10

Person: On a scale from 1 to 10, how obsessed are you with divergent

Me: 4

Them:...

Me:...

Them: Did you just...

Me: Yes. Yes i did

* * *

Hope you enjoy it

(::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)


	2. CHP2 DIVERGENT PUNS!

Chapter 2 DIVERGENT PUNS!

* * *

1\. Tobias in Math

Teacher: What's 3+3?

Tobias: A Hole in my heart

* * *

2.I love you

Tobias: I love you

Tris: I love you too

Tobias: I love you three

Tris: I love you Four

Tobias: I know

* * *

3\. Faction

Me: I couldn't be in Abnegation because I'd get bored stiff

Friend: Oh, it took me a faction of a second to get that

* * *

4\. Whisk Taker

What do you called a Dauntless baker?

A Whisk-taker

* * *

5\. Exchange girl talk

Christina: So Tris, do you have any cute dauntless guys you're interested in?

Tris: Oh yeah, actually I have four in mind

Tris:* mental high five to self*

* * *

Hope you Enjoy

FREE COOKIES! (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)


	3. CHP 3 PUNS

CHP 3 PUNSSSSSSSS

* * *

1\. 4

Teacher: Where should we put 4?

Me: In my bed.

Classmate: ...

Principal:...

Parents:...

World:...

Divergent Fans: *Standing Ovation*

* * *

2\. Third Divergent book

"THE THIRD DIVERGENT BOOK WILL BE RELEASED THIS OCTOBER, 22,2013."

October: Tenth month of the year. (4+6=TEN)

22: 2+2 = 4

2013: 2+0+1+3 = 6

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

* * *

3\. Tobias and Tris

Tobias: You're my biggest inTRIS. Therefore you're my PRIORity

Tris: Tobias,stop

* * *

Teacher: I'm afraid you failed your science te-

Me: The Test. Didn't work on me

Teacher

Me: They Call it Divergent

Teacher

Me: I'M A DIVERGENT, I CAN"T BE CONTROLLED! *jumps out of the window*

* * *

5\. Faction

Amity: We want peace

Dauntless: We want peace too. A peace of cake

Erudite: It's spelled "piece"

Candor: Oh shut up, it sounds the same

Abnegation: *hand Dauntless a piece of cake*

* * *

Hope you enjoy it!

(::) (::) (::) (:) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)


	4. CHP 4 PUNS

Hope you enjoy

* * *

1\. Divergent Preschool

Teacher: Tobias, give other people some cake, too.

Teacher: Tris, stop jumping of chairs.

Teacher: Christina, stop trying to kiss Will

Teacher: Peter, put down that butter knife!

Teacher: Uriah, don't starts fight with other kids

Teacher: Marlene, don't eat muffins off the floor

Teacher: Molly, stop punching Tris!

Teacher: what age do I have to retire?

* * *

2\. 46

Teacher: Turn to page 69

Boys: *snickers*

Me: You're so immature

Teacher: Turn to page 46

Me: OMG. Don't even start. I think i might cry

* * *

3\. 4 + 6 = 4

Me: hey

Me: hey do you know what 4 +6 equals

Friend:

Me: It's 4

Me: Because there is no 6

Me: THERE IS NO SIX

Me: THIS IS ALL VERONICA ROTH'S FAULT

Friend:

Me:

Friend: Okay then

* * *

4\. 4+6

Teacher: What's 4 + 6

Me: *gaps*

Me: *stand on desk*

Teahcer: ...

Me: FOURTIRS

Me: *breaks down into sobs*

Class: Here she goes again

* * *

5\. Future Children

16 year old girl : Hi, my name is Tris

18 year old boy: hi, my name is Tobias

(Long silence)

16 year old girl: Did you mom read Divergent too?

* * *

(::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)


	5. CHP 5 PUNS

Hope you enjoy

* * *

1An exchange of guy talk

Eric: You should meet this girl, shes hot

Tobias: No thanks I have my PRIORity

* * *

2\. Dauntless

e _D_ ward

uri _A_ h

fo _U_ r

Lyn _N_

 _T_ ris

wi _L_ l

 _E_ ric

chri _S_ tina

 _S_ hauna

* * *

3\. Whenever Tobias and Tris kiss

Me: *claps like retarded seal*

Me: *crying because of how perfect they are*

Me: *making whale noise*

Me: *screeching*

Me: *rolling of my bed*

Me: *smiling uncontrollably*

Me: *jumping up and down*

Me: *strokes book*

Me: *drops book*

* * *

4\. When The Fault In Our Star meets Divergent

Tris: Hey! You stole my face!

Hazel: Is that what I look like without my nose nubbins and long hair?

Tobias: Hey look, it's Caleb

Augustus: Pardon me?

Caleb: Why do we look alike?

Tobias: Two pairs of Caleb and Tris...

Tris: Well me and Caleb are brother and sister

Hazel: We're boyfriend and girlfriend

Augustus: *Sticks unlit cigarette in his mouth*

Caleb: Get that out of my mouth! Well, your mouth...

Tobias: I'm so confused...I need cake

* * *

5\. Me in Divergent movie

Me: OMG! *squeels*

Me: Here it comes OMG

Me: *cries of joy*

Me: It's so beautiful

Me: I can't...Just no.

Friend: Dude it just the Summit Entertainment Logo.

* * *

COOKIES!  
(::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)


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